What Betrothal?
by Xelan
Summary: Marriage laws, forced betrothals, the phrase, "It is what it is." I'm not in favor of any of these, so naturally I wrote a story that includes all of them. Light on the Ron and Molly bashing -for me. Eventual Harmony.


What Betrothal?

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.

A/N: A take on the betrothal trope. Written all in one sitting. Minor corrections made to some typos.

XXXXXXXXXX

"They're celebrating."

"Uh huh."

"The dark lord's really dead this time."

"So it would seem."

"No more Death Eaters."

"Finally."

"The war's over."

"Yu-wait... you're just going to DECIDE the war is over? No big signing ceremony or armistice?"

"Not sure what those are. They sound Muggle. But anyway, naw, Kingsley's the new Minister. He said we won. S'good enough for me."

"So, you want to me to agree to become your girlfriend and give you my virginity?"

"It's really more of a betrothal thing, but yeah, more or less what you said."

"What betrothal? We only went on the one practice date in Hogsmeade, and even at that, it was really only a pity date."

"Yeah, but it's enough to fit the requirement for a betrothal agreement."

"I don't think I want to give you my virginity, Ron."

"Then you shouldn't have agreed to wait until after the war. Tradition is that setting a date is accepting."

"I wasn't setting a date, I was trying to let you down easy by postponing crushing your hopes until after the war was over."

"And now the war is over and we're gonna finalize the betrothal."

"And what happens if I refuse?"

"Too late for that. That collar 'round your neck means the betrothal is real."

Sure enough, a gaudy collar had appeared around Hermione's neck.

"I don't suppose I can just take this off and we forget about the whole thing."

"Nope. You're a virgin and we're in the middle of a betrothal. Magic will keep you from taking it off until it's all over."

"For fuck's sake, Ron, I don't want to marry you."

"Then you shouldn't have set a date."

"I didn't know at the time that there was some stupid betrothal custom that I was blundering into."

"Don't you always say that ignorance of the law is no excuse?"

"I have."

"Well, there you have it."

"There I have what?"

Ignoring her, Ron said, "I'd like to get the betrothal consummation over soon. It's a bit old fashioned and I'm a little embarrassed to be doing it this way, but my mum recommended it. Seems she thought it would work best for us. But once we finish the consummation, no more betrothal collar."

"And we can forget about this and go back to being friends?"

"Of course not. We'll be married and since I'm the first to get married, we should get the family rings."

"And there's really nothing I can say or do to change your mind?"

"Nope. Mum thinks I need a studious girl, with a good head on her shoulders to help me out in life. Plus, of all the birds in our year, you're not bad to look it."

"Your heartfelt love and appreciation is really quite moving, Ron. I find it hard to believe that I still don't want to marry you."

"It is what it is."

"Killing you a possibility?"

"Not while you're wearing the collar. Magic and all that."

"Pity."

"So, how did you want to do this? Dormitory, Room of Requirements, Prefect's bath, right here, or in the Great Hall?"

"The Great Hall is a field hospital right now."

"Okay, not so fond of witnesses, I guess? Still leaves four other options."

Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment.

"How about this, you go get something to eat from the Great Hall while I go up and start getting cleaned up and ready to do the deed." She had his interest piqued at the mention of food.

"After you finish your meal, give me 30 minutes at least, then come on up to the dormitory." She leaned in close and her voice took on a husky, teasing tone. "And I will do my absolute best to. Blow. Your. Mind."

"Good plan!" Ron enthused. He ran off to the Great Hall.

Once Ron was out of earshot, Hermione cleared her throat then called, "Kreacher!"

-POP-

"Yes, Mistress?"

"Kreacher, I need your help."

%%%%%%%%%%

-52 minutes, 2 helpings of bangers and mash, 1 shepherd's pie, 2 treacle tarts, and a little Stargazy pie later-

"Hermione! I'm here! Where are you? I'm ready to be blown!"

Hermione called out from beyond the doorway, "I'm coming, Ron."

"Hah, haven't even started and you're already saying that!" He answered back in a raunchy tone.

Coming into the vacant dormitory, Hermione looked quite fetching with her mussed hair, the white men's shirt partially buttoned up and the striped pair of panties that looked moist with questionable substances. "Must you be so crude, Ron?"

"Yes, Miss Granger, I must," he leered at the voluptuous young witch."

Hermione smirked at Ron. Ron, already quite a connoisseur of Hermione's moods, from knowing her for the past 7 years, was a little surprised. He'd never seen that particular look upon her face before, nor had she ever walked with such an odd hip sway before. If he had to guess, she'd gotten started without him. But he wasn't worried overly much, since his bits were required to consummate their betrothal and bond the marriage.

"Two things you should know, Ron-"

"-And what's that, Hermione?"

"First of all, I said I would blow your mind, not blow you."

"That's what you think, Ron said in sing-song tone with a lecherous grin."

"Second, the name's Missus Potter, not Miss Granger." Hermione's left hand produced the two pieces of her former betrothal collar and dropped them in Ron's vacant hands. "Harry's taking a fluids break, so I borrowed his shirt to come out and inform you of the current situation."

"But-but-but, our betrothal... what happened to our betrothal!?"

Hermione's voice was as innocent as she was not. "What Betrothal?" she asked.

"OUR magical betrothal." He held up the broken collar. "The reason for this collar!"

"Hate to break it to you, Ron. Well, no, that's not true. I take great pleasure in informing you that you were betrothed to Hermione J. Granger, virgin. She doesn't exist anymore. And in her place was Hermione J. Granger, ex-virgin; and then immediately thereafter, there was only Hermione Jane Potter, so-very-not-a-virgin."

Hermione smiled and flashed her ring finger at Ronald. A brilliant stone caught the torchlight and Ron's eye's shot open extra wide.

"B-but, but that's not fair."

"It is what it is."

She leaned in close and smiled the most evil smile he had ever seen. "Consider your mind blown."

Ron sank to his knees, all strength leaving him.

Hermione turned on her heel and walked back to the waiting Mister Potter who had gotten tired of waiting for her and was leaning against the door frame, clad only in his trousers.

She accepted his warm embrace and before they both disappeared back into wedded, carnal bliss, Hermione called back over her shoulder, "Oh, and if I hear anything, anything at all, about you doing any more betrothals against a girl's will, then I'll make the drubbing I gave Bellatrix look like a walk in the park in comparison to what I do to you."

"You spread her bloody entrails across half the castle courtyard!"

"And she used the Cruciatus on me. Think about what I would do to you if you really pissed me off."

"Noted."

"Good. Oh, and tell Molly that after I return from my Honeymoon, she and I will have words."

At that, Ron finally succumbed and became one with cold stone floor, completely insensate.

If Ron had still been capable of listening, he might have heard someone say, "That was cruel."

To which someone else replied, "Couldn't be helped."

"And really hot."

"Show me."

"Gladly."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

END


End file.
